If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
