it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
