I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
