i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
