I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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