My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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