And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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