theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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