I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
