Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
