we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize