how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
