dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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