Buhtt sex?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
