why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize