Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize