thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
