guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
