the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize