Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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