"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
