I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
