my soul wont recognize me after tonight
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sext me about skeletons
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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