There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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