Duck Duck Cougar?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
