Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
