Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
