how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
