Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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