Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
