If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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