god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
