Capitaan dildo arrescate!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
