The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
