Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
