I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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