i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
