The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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