The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize