just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
