At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
