Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
