school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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