he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
