u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
