How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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