either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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