Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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