At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
