no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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