your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
