If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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