my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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