tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
