so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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