If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
