careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
