i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
