She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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