If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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