i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
