It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
