im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
