YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize